During the first weeks at my first “real” job working in corporate banking, I was asked to go to a luncheon for the sole purpose of filling up an empty space at our table. I had never actually been to a luncheon before but I was broke and hungry, so I quickly accepted. “Besides” I thought to myself “I’m awesome at socializing.” What I failed to consider, was that socializing while at Free Taco Tuesday in college, was not at all the same as professional networking.
Fast forward to the luncheon: I was sweating bullets. To my right was a CFO of a major Seattle company, and to my left the Senior Vice President of Corporate Banking, aka, my boss. First, I tried to keep up with the conversation. I soon found myself pretending to know all about bear market rallys and derivatives, and shared my thoughts on each. Apparently I was a bit off. I received blank stares and one very obvious eye roll. And so I sat there silent, except for when I faked an emergency phone call just so I could have an excuse to leave the table…twice.
I found out that day, that networking isn’t easy. A select few are naturals, but for the rest of us networking is something that takes practice and some finesse.Vanessa Merit Nornberg, Founder of Metal Mafia wrote an article for Inc. titled “Hate Networking? 3 Ways to Get Over It”. Had I read this before my luncheon, I may have made fewer fake phone calls. Below are her points, along with my commentary:
1. Listening is the best way to start a conversation.
Had I been less stressed about how I was going to insert myself into the conversation between the CFO and SRVP, I may have been able to learn a thing or two. If you are sitting next to people who have been in the industry longer than you, don’t be afraid to ask them questions. How did they get where they are today? Do they have any advice for someone just dipping their toes into finance for the first time? People love to answer questions about themselves. People don’t love a 22 yr old know-it-all , especially when you really don’t.
2. Honesty begets honesty.
I should have left my corporate banker costume at the door. Really, who was I kidding? I was 22 yrs old, with bad highlights, wearing a suit that was 2 sizes too big. No one in their right mind thought I was a seasoned corporate banker. I should have owned it. Be your authentic self and you won’t need to worry about somebody looking up your LinkedIn profile when they get home, just to realize you’re full of it. Don’t be afraid to let people know you’re new to this. More than likely there is someone else who feels your pain, or is willing to shell out a few pointers.
3. Everyone has something interesting to impart.
I failed to mention my biggest flaw during this fated luncheon. Why is it, that the only people I remember are the CFO and SRVP? Who were the other five people at my table? What could I have learned from them? Although you shouldn’t treat networking events as a competition to get the most business cards, you should be trying to make a connection with at least one person. Start with who is sitting next to you, and if they are discussing derivatives, look at who is across the table instead.
Since my first awful networking experience, I’ve gotten a little better each time, although I am far from a pro. Face to face connections can be some of the strongest we can make as professionals, it would be a shame to miss these opportunities just to avoid a bit of pre-networking anxiety.
If you have any pointers, or a good “first networking” story that puts mine to shame, please share!